Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Head Noise Rocks

Hey! It sounds like the din of a fun party in here! *rowdy* And sometimes it sounds like the call of a whistling tea kettle… or the rhythmic song of a lively cricket serenade on a midsummer night! *wild* But wait… all of these various audio happenings are really nothing beyond the elaborate confines of my own head – ha! To say that having chronic tinnitus sucks is an understatement, for sure. There are plenty of times when I’m thinking, “I can’t stand this for one more second”…as I frantically search for the proverbial OFF button of a remedy. Yeah, probably most of the other 50 million people in the U.S. who have tinnitus don’t like it either! *bummer*

For me, it’s already been 20 years since receiving this daunting medical diagnosis… and at the time I was also told:

A) I most likely had it for quite some time before noticing it, and going in for tests.

B) It almost certainly was brought on by my attendance at rock concerts and/or listening to loud headphones as a teenager.

C) The sounds in my head are from my brain “making up” audible resonance as replacement for hearing loss caused by the aforesaid noisy activities.

D) White noise machines may be helpful at bedtime.

Now wait a sec… let me further elucidate these bullet points:

A) As a matter of fact, and now that I think back on it, there were a few times during childhood/adolescence when I remember hearing what I now consider to be “brain tunes” (especially during quiet times!)

B) Not possible. I totally did not have the means (or parental permission) to attend more than a couple concerts – they were outdoors – and my friends and I were waaay back on the lawn. Remember… I got married at 20, after one year of community college, and lived a quiet buttoned-down stay-at-home-mom life (no rambunctious college dorm mischief or university quad boisterous behavior in my life history!)

C) The M.D. specialist said this to me after the hearing test results showed only slight super-high-range loss. So then, according to him, my brain physiologically composes racket for me to listen to instead of the occasional dog whistle? I am not convinced! *ixnay*

D) Actually, I’d rather listen to my brain’s version of white noise (thank you very much!)

So as I figure it, there’s really no point in tormenting myself over the complete absence of silence in my life… I don’t need that aggravation! *chill out* Instead, I’ve decided to accept my super-hearing ability and at least acknowledge – if not enjoy – this most personal version of soul music. Apparently, my brain is tuned in (and hip to) the bona fide sounds of silence (nod to Simon & Garfunkel!)

Have a fabulous week! I’ll be back here in a bit ☺


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